Photo By Orange_Beard From Flickr

There are tons of people who want to increase their listening skill. I feel to be a good listener, you need to know how not to tune out while listening.

If you don’t tune out while someone is talking, you are sure to know what the speaker is talking about. This means you will remember what the speaker said, this improves your ability to respond to the speaker which automatically increases your listening skill

So here are some ways not to tune out while listening

1. Boy, this guy is dull!

As soon as you say this, you mind will switch off. As soon as you say the word dull, you mind will start to wonder and you will never know what the speaker is talking about.

2. Criticize is good, isn’t it?

Leave your criticism until the end. Don’t start criticizing when the speaker is still speaking. Firstly, you will come across as rude. Secondly, you will lose focus of the speech because you are focused on your criticism.

3. Provoked by the speech

Again, save this until the end. If you get provoked by the speaker, then your mind will be filled with whatever emotion associated with the provoking. The result is that you will completely ignore what the speaker is saying.

4. Fake attention

This is a never-ending circle. You fake attention, you focus on faking attention, you lose focus of the speech, and therefore you have to fake attention not to appear rude.

5. Distraction toleration

Two words: ignore it.

Photo By Dammit_jack From flickr

This was an experiment I tried once.

The experiment was just to stay silent for a whole day. Of course, I can’t really stay silent for a whole day since if a teacher asked me a question I have to respond. So the goal was to keep the speaking to the minimum.

I did this experiment because many people said that talking is only a small part of communication. As I did the experiment I realized several benefits of not talking apart from better communication.

Peace: As I did the experiment, I found peace within myself. I can’t really describe it, it’s like an overwhelming energy, but it isn’t a throbbing energy like anger that threatens to engulf you. The energy is calm and soothing, it felt like a warm blanket. The energy I felt also reduced and in some cases eliminated social pressure.

Awareness: I never realized how much I actually talked. I always thought that I am a quiet guy but I think I underestimated myself (or overestimated depending on how you look at it).

Opposite attraction: When I was doing the experiment, I found that people who talked a lot seem to want to talk to me.

Inner wisdom: That was how I felt at the time. When I didn’t speak, I noticed different angles to opinions. When my friends argued, I could see from the other point of view as well as my friends’.

Creativity: I got more ideas on that day then most others. I think those ideas have always been there but because I was silent, I noticed them more.

Motivation: Don’t know why but I felt I done more work that day then others. I just had the drive to do work.

Me time: You know how people always go you need to have some time all to yourself? Well that day, I had all 24 hours to myself. Since I didn’t talk, the time others talked I had me time. I delved into my mind and stayed there for a whole day, it was very nice.

Be nice: This could be the side effect of having peace within myself (see first point). During the day, I had an urge to be nicer to people then I normally am.

I felt that this experiment is great; too bad it’s just too unconventional. There is also the problem of whether writing, texting, etc count as talking. However, it is a great experiment to try for only a day or two.